Sunday, 7 March 2010

Lust versus Love

This is a tough one, I once read somewhere that women offer sex in the hope they will get love, and men offer love in the hope they will get sex. I have often wondered if there is any truth to this.

Today I read an article in the newspaper saying that a 22 year old girl 'stole' her grandmother's boyfriend (63). They mentioned having a great and healthy sex life. I couldn't help but wonder why that seemed to be the most important aspect to mention. I already, at the best of times feel that this world has gone insane, and can't by the life of me understand what the attraction between this 22 year old and 63 year old man could be. To me it seems to border on pedofile behaviour. In a way, I feel so bad for the grandmother, as she once again becomes one of those women who doesn't stand a chance in the world of the young and beautiful.
Yes, it is only my superficial and very subjective view, as I have no idea what their relationship was like before the granddaughter made her appearance.

I guess you attract men with your sexuality, and looks, but in the end, I don't believe that that is what will make them stay. Not the good ones...and yes, I remain convinced that there are many good men still out there. I hope that the true attraction lies within your soul, the person that you are and the joy you live your life with.

So, as women, what should we do to attract the 'right' man ?! I guess we start off by deciding what we want in a man and what we expect from a relationship. This seems easy enough, but of course not all of our needs will be met and there should always be room for some compromise, I think. The compromise being on the small issues, not the important ones. For instance, it's no use making a point of someone's small annoying habits, but it is crucial to feel that someone is truly interested in you, not just 'passing time' with you. No need for love at first sight, but you aren't someone's entertainment center until something better comes along.
Sometimes we so long for love that we confuse it with lust. It will satisfy for a while but leave you empty and alone in the end. To be honest, as women, we are worth so much more !!

It's difficult to believe in yourself, and to retrieve your self confidence after a man has left you, or if you've had many relationships that ended badly. As a woman it leaves a huge dent and sometimes, when the hurt is deep, you're tempted to believe you're really not worth it. I went through that, and still at times struggle with it. Strangely enough, it is not an issue in my friendships, but when it comes to men, I am a total disaster.
I have no idea what I want, yet I want too much....
I say I don't want commitment, yet feel true disappointment when I find out I am just a fling for the other person....
I long for love, yet don't dare assume someone will ever love me again....
I want to believe 'happily ever after' still exists, yet all around me love seems to be ending in nightmares...
I find someone I like, only to realise they don't feel the same way about me at all... !
So I'm stuck....And because I am stuck, I start looking for reasons why I am stuck. Only to find that there are no answers, except maybe to let go of it all and just be myself. Hoping deep down, that I will still get a chance at day.

So if you get stuck in the battle between lust and love, take a deep look at your inner self and choose wisely.

I'll take love...... in time.


  1. It's nice to have discovered your blog. You are a gifted writer, and very insightful. You need to find someone who will appreciate you.

  2. Michelle, i enjoyed reading your blog. nicely done.

  3. Thanks Yupi !!
    I'm glad you liked it !! :-)

  4. Hi there, I saw your post on Inge Stevens's wall and this is how I discovered your blog. Just read this post and I really liked it. So... will ready more! :)

  5. @Paul...thanks so much and I hope you enjoy reading some more of my tales !