As a woman, it's utterly impossible to even fathom the thought of trying to understand a man's way of thinking. Believe me, I've tried. A man does and says things that we women often misinterpret from start to end. We are mostly left in the confusion of wonder. Often trying to fill in the question marks by filling in the gaps with our own way of thinking. This takes us even farther from what goes on in a man's head.
So, what does go on in there ? Anything ? Anyone ?
Nope, I don't have the answers, if anything, I am more at a loss for them than ever....I find myself trying every time to see the logic of their brain patterns, wondering if thoughts take place in their head, heart or a few inches lower even ....each time I'm convinced that I've figured it out and know which 'buttons' to press, the sequence changes and I find myself starting from scratch again.
Some profess their undying love to you, only to turn around one day and simply say they've changed their minds and no longer feel that way about you. Just like that....no warning, so you're left wondering what 'killed' the moment, what killed that 'once-upon-a-time-unconditional-love', which suddenly became 'conditional'.
We women would give off some signs, hints and screams making it clear that something might not be going in the right direction, alarm bells would be ringing - in desperate attempts to make the needed changes or adjustments. But a man, a man sits on his problems, refuses to talk about them by entering his safe zone...'the man cave'....while they keep us outside at a safe distance, the result being that we women, will only find out what the verdict is once he decides to come out of there having made up his mind. There and then, there will be no more room for discussion, once it's made up, it's made up.
So why are there so many bestsellers on the shelves on how to read your man's mind ? How to conquer his emotions, and lure him back into your world again? Is that even possible after a cave session ? Having read a few of those 'self-help-books' (which don't really live up to their name anyway)...I've come to the conclusion that however hard a woman tries and WANTS to understand men, in order to make life easier, they just CANNOT.
There is no set of rules that applies to all....there are no answers if he feels he has no questions, there is no logic if he wants none. Life just comes at it is. Everyday brings a new set of 'rules'.
It's time to just accept that. No more bending over backwards to apologise or understand, no more trying to prove that things could be different next time. No more begging or pleading into an unknown mind. A woman is a woman and a man is a man. Or else all it's going to be is a woman's point of view on a man's perception....and that .....is useless. Stick to what you know, not what you don't and never assume.