Thursday, 17 February 2011

Post -flu- life

I've often noticed that when my kids are ill, and suffer from fevers, that a while after recovery they seem to have made some sort of incredible jump in life. Be it in actual growth, or intellectual ability. It's as if whatever illness they went through  jump starts the body into the next level. And it's been like that every single time.

This time, I got the flu, it hit me unexpectedly and hard. There was no other option but to lie in bed and sleep, waiting patiently for it to make its hit and run. And that's exactly how it felt, as if I'd been hit and run over...!
I'm not a very patient patient to say the least, and I prefer taking a few painkillers and just getting on with life, but this time round my trick wasn't gonna do the trick.

I woke up feeling as if I'd been hit by a number of cars, and then bulldozed over just to really crunch those last left over intact bones. Too weak to get up, too weak to move, I could only think how strong willed my friend with breast cancer must be, to keep 'surviving' each chemo-hit, that leaves her probably in an even worse state than this 'innocent' flu left me. There and then I decided that I have great respect for her, and all others going through that hell, yet always finding the courage to continue.

So, kind of feeling like a man having the 'man-flu', weak, tired and sorry for myself. The only option was to just let it hit me and be done with it. Easier said than done, with 3 kids expecting their mom to beat anything.

I found out that children don't quite like having a mom, who's not supermom....and stays in bed all day, moaning and groaning, in pj's and with a volcanic hairstyle from all the tossing and turning. Great help though from my eldest who really did sympathise and took over like a real pro. I'd like to take credit for her great caring heart, but it's not me she gets it from. I'm a lot tougher when someone is sick, whilst she makes you feel cared for and pampered.

Exes can be 'handy' at these times, for they can entertain and take the kids with them, to give you some much needed rest and peace and quiet.
Even so, I don't remember much of the past few days, as I was in and out of sleep most of the time, only coming out of bed to help co-ordinate meals and lunchboxes. Strange, how you miss out on a few days yet life goes on as usual.

After spending 3 days in bed, I woke up and felt my body had returned, the aches and pains were gone and it felt like total bliss, I was back...weak, and pale, but back !!!

Like I said though, these things come in pairs.....and not only had I been ill, but a strange new life was there by the time I woke up to feeling better. A life that is filled with great changes, uncertainty, and new expectations. I'm a little weary of it, but know that as usual things will turn out the way they should, in the end.
The pre-flu-me, has turned into post-flu-me, and with that I take careful steps into unknown territory, praying that karma sticks with me and I keep seeing the bright side of life in all that is to come.

Monday, 7 February 2011


Turned the tune of my daughters' first contrived song lyrics. What a delight !!! I don't think I've ever felt that emotionally struck, or is it because I'm growing older !? The sentiment of it all hit a chord in my heart and out flowed the tears of happiness and great pride. I must say my kids aren't perfect, because no one is or should be,  but they have their heart in the right place and that's what counts !!

It's not even a week later and already I am showing signs of old shoulder is excruciatingly painful and I'm probably suffering from some sort of infection or other, which makes it hard to do almost anything, from strapping on my bra in the mornings to finding a comfortable position to fall a sleep in at night. But as we all know life goes on and I'm pretty sure there are much worse things I could be suffering from. So, even though I'm in pain, I'm thankful it's a temporary thing.

Now that I'm nearing my fortieth birthday, slowly but surely, time seems to leap instead of steadily move along like it used to. Why is that ?! Why does it feel like I'm already halfway through life ?! I'm not quite sure I like it, I don't enjoy the idea that I may be entering the latter half of it all. That my youthful years may lie behind me, as if 'season one' of my life is finished and 'season two' is about to air, and as commonly known, season two never seems to outshine the first one.

So what awaits in the second half of life ?! Through the agitation of what may come, I also feel an utter calm. A feeling of peace, that seems to grow within me as the days, months and years keep ticking away. The satisfaction of having brought children into the world is a great one. Something I am proud of and still enjoy every single day being a stay at home mother.

Realising that even though we are no longer a family that lives under one roof together, we will always be connected by that essential word ..'family', even though in time we will all end up going our separate ways. There is nothing that can break the bond we have and 'coming home' will always mean the same. Because in essence we are 'fund-and-mentally' linked for life.

So, having fixed my shoulder with a shot of cortisone ( a medication I used to associate with 'old people' ..). I can once again fold laundry, clean, cook, make love and kick some ass !!

Determined to make the best 'part two', possible, I proceed through my midlife crisis and enjoy the craziness  that comes with it, for there is no way, I will go back to being the boring young girl that I used to be.

In life, unlike in the movies, I think it may actually only get better !!!