To be honest I think it sounds very uncool to 'love yourself', it's one of those terms I feel only meditative spiritual people use, and frankly, I don't think of myself as a spiritual person so much, even though my life seems to have become a stream of filosofical ideas put into words every once in a while. But, having come to the conclusion that that (loving yourself that is) is what must be done, it leaves me no choice but to try and find a way to do so, within my self defined spiritual being.
In times of (great) need, people turn to anything or anyone they can to find strength, courage and especially hope. It may be sought after in weekly yoga or pilates, in hobbies and work, or, as in many cases in a form of religion. For God seems to be the person we turn to in times of trouble. I am seldom a truly religious person, and shamefully admit that it has mostly only been in times of need. I believe there is a God out there however, but not at all the type of God we are told about in church or school. 'God' has always felt more like a good friend, a companion of (difficult) journeys, always, bestowing upon me a sense of safety. Accomodating me with an aura of 'being around', whenever, wherever, all I need to do is talk to Him, like I would to any other good and faithful friend. He has kindly been the one to love me through thick and thin....however awful I thought myself to be.
I have often referred to God as 'The Man Upstairs' because when I think of 'Him', I feel his presence overlooking me. We seem to have been through a lot 'together' and even though, I don't always feel that I should summon him, because there are numerous others with more desperate needs. Still, I have never felt Him leave my side for even a single moment.
No, I am not trying to make anyone a believer who is not, or force a 'religion' onto anyone. All I want to say, is that in some strange way, I have never felt alone, it's like someone has always been around, and in my worst moments, He has been my zone of comfort, hope and faith. Always there to talk to, cry to and laugh with. I have no idea what 'kind' of God, He may actually be, or which 'religion' He may be most asscociated with. All I know is that there has always been a sense of unconditional friendship, emerging from this entity, and to me He's been a kind of 'backup-guy', best described by his unique and universal name 'God'.
Challenging and difficult times cause people to search for this backup and support. Just knowing He is there helps you to start climbing your problem mountains, and that is when you once again start believing in yourself, and surely the act of loving yourself should closely follow. It's as magical as that. Right?!
In our 'rich' and 'overindulgent' society, we are saturated with what we think is all we want, jobs, attention, power and wealth, leaving no room whatsoever for a 'God person' to be a part of our lives. He becomes disposable, up until the moment that a crisis hits our lives.
It is not exceptional that inhabitants of Third World Countries suffering from poverty, natural disasters and all sorts of other problems, house whole 'herds' of people who go to church, and pray to God. These are people in continuous crisis situations, looking for answers, for comfort and maybe even for acceptance and help from others through Him. Desperately believing in His omnipotent power.
So to get back to my quest of self love, should we love ourselves with the same aptitude God has to love us, or is it ok to just let Him do all the caring, in return for our best behaviour as human beings?!
I catch myself being thankful to God, in my moments of great need, yet 'forgetting' to thank him, when all is 'seemingly' going right. A trait I do not specifically like about myself, for it is in times of no need that we should be most thankful and not the other way around, for God's sake !!!
No comments:
Post a Comment