At times I sit an wonder whether this world has come to an opened up Pandora's box. The lying, cheating, back stabbing and rotten ways in which we seem to treat each other these days is attrocious. If it weren't for some solid and faithful friendships, I think I would have long declared my time on Earth enough.
The facades, the masks, the pain inflicted without a single care, are too many to mention, too many to examine, too many to handle.
It leaves a simple soul wondering if anything at all is real, honourable and trustworthy.
No, I am not suffering from a depression, but feel that in some ways our society is. We seem infatuated with ourselves and our every craving....
But what about the real shit, the real pain, the real suffering; ...hunger, starvation, poverty, epidemics, child labour, cancer, aids, natural disasters, death.
Why is it we seem to worry about what car to drive, what house to own, what important position to have, yet always finding ourselves being exceeded by the next 'guy', because once you start that cycle, you are never a winner, always 'just' under...
A few years ago, our middle daughter was taken to hospital for what seemed a 'normal' pneumonia. The X-rays showed that a part of her lung had collapsed, medicines were given, treatment started, tests done, and at a certain point she was referred to a more specialised hospital in the country, where she had even more tubes stuffed down her throat, and more exams to determine the exact cause....assuming the worst, it was blissful when nothing was found truly wrong with her, except for a juvenile lack of certain immune system values. What a relief, but whilst she and I spent the night there, I saw children, bald ....pale...sick. Their eyes, with a dull despair, yet full of determination and bravery. Parents, sitting there, with them, day in, day out... their patience being tested, but with enough courage and strength for all involved. The horrible night scenes of pain and desperation, as the effects of the medicines kicked in...
I left there humbled.
Amazed that when I got back, people were discussing 'fashion' and 'cars', everyday chit chat, the type I had often had as well, but this time it was different, it no longer seemed important, it no longer seemed necessary, but simply pointless and shallow.
It took a while, but as it happens, life fell back into place, and relieved that our daughter was declared 'unexplainably healthy' ...old patterns returned.
Another disaster moment, hit. Separation. The world turned upside down and a rollercoaster ride of emotions set it's course. Again, so much seemed so uninportant, so much seemed shoal. Yet once again life found it's way back to me.
Friends going through horrid stories of their own, struggling, drowning, lost and confused, with the same fears and the same emotions, nothing anyone can do for them, but hope and pray they find their way.
I sit here longing for some good old fashioned 'caring', in this totally insane and fast lane life. Hoping people will open their eyes and heart to others, and stop being so acceptive of all the moraly unjust and undone !! No harm in daring to say what you feel, and feel what you say. Straight forward, and honest principal truths.